Metaphysx.com

Earlier this week I analyzed my habits and did a lot more research on quitting. In my last post on this subject, I was finding that cutting down and spreading cigarettes out with longer intervals in between was non-productive and simply additional torture. What I did instead seems to have helped.

Basically, I used the last few days of last week to ‘practice’ quitting. I carved out a section of the day for not-smoking just to figure out what it would feel like and come up with ways to cope. It was then that I decided to move my quit date up. I was ready.

I smoked a lot over the weekend on purpose. But Sunday, July 8, around midnight, I had my last one. I’ve now been 100% smoke free almost 31 hours.

I had a few rough spells yesterday, mostly feelings of foggy-headedness and inability to concentrate which seemed to last for 10-20 minutes at a time. The entire day felt like one extended craving with only a few breaks in-between. Last night wasn’t so bad until around 11p. I worked out when I got home, then did some dishes and laundry, cleaned the kitchen and worked on my floors. But as soon as I finally sat down to rest, the cravings kicked in again. I talked with a friend on the phone for a few hours which helped keep my mind off, but around 11-ish, it really started to get bad. I went to bed, but couldn’t sleep. It was a pretty horrible night. I tossed and turned and stared at the back of my eyelids most of the night while I did my breathing exercises trying to relax. I finally gave up when the alarm went off this morning.

And now I’m up, sitting at the computer drinking my coffee. This is DEFINITELY a trigger! LOL! Fortunately I don’t have anything to smoke and any store is too far away. I mean, by the time I would get to the store to buy some, the craving would probably be gone and I’d just turn around and come home. So, I’m able to keep myself from even trying. It’s pretty bad though. Even though it’s been a day, I can still kind of taste the flavor of my Camels. My hands are shaking, and I’m already developing the first signs of “Quitter’s Flu”. My sinuses are starting to drain, I’m starting to cough and constantly clearing my throat, which is making it a bit sore. And the coughing is sometimes so hard that I think I’m going to throw up. Ugh.

I also find it funny how my brain tries to rationalize it. I mean, I will sit here for a few minutes and completely convince myself that it’s ok to go buy a pack and smoke one. “One isn’t going to kill me. I can just smoke one a day… just in the mornings to help start the day like coffee. Or maybe at the end of the day to wind-down like a glass of wine. So go ahead and get a pack just to have around when you need it.” Then I’ll suddenly snap out of it, realizing the truth that I can’t smoke just one.

So, anyway… I fully expect today to be at least a little worse than yesterday. But I hope after today I will be ‘over the hump’ and the cravings will start to diminish.