Monthly Archive for July, 2007

Wow

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on July 11, 2007
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To say yesterday was difficult would be an understatement. It was definitely worse than Monday. The cravings were more intense and more frequent, even though honestly, I’m dealing with the simple “desire” to smoke pretty well. But yesterday, after trying with limited success to work while only being able to focus on the task for a few minutes at a time, I completely broke down. My head was too foggy when I needed it to be clear. I have deadlines to meet. It all became emotionally overwhelming.

But… a good friend called and she talked with me until the feelings passed. After that, I was able to work for a few more hours and I felt pretty good the rest of the night. By 11:30p I felt exhausted and like I was headed for a good night’s sleep. I fell asleep right away.

Then, at around 3am… it hit. I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep. I stayed in bed for another hour and a half trying, but at 5:30 finally gave up and got up. I’m wide awake now with pretty strong cravings. Again, I’m sure it’s not helping matters that I’m sitting in the computer room with a cup of coffee.

I expect/hope that today is better than yesterday. I read an article that says day 2 is more intense than day 1, and day 3 falls back to day 1 intensity. So… we will see.

The Quit Date (Update)

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on July 10, 2007
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Earlier this week I analyzed my habits and did a lot more research on quitting. In my last post on this subject, I was finding that cutting down and spreading cigarettes out with longer intervals in between was non-productive and simply additional torture. What I did instead seems to have helped.

Basically, I used the last few days of last week to ‘practice’ quitting. I carved out a section of the day for not-smoking just to figure out what it would feel like and come up with ways to cope. It was then that I decided to move my quit date up. I was ready.

I smoked a lot over the weekend on purpose. But Sunday, July 8, around midnight, I had my last one. I’ve now been 100% smoke free almost 31 hours.

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A tough transition

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on July 7, 2007
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In other rooms, I planned ahead and was able to seamlessly transition from one room to another. However, I did the floors in the Cozy first and at the time didn’t even consider putting hardwood in the adjoining room. So I didn’t worry about it.

It’s hard to describe, but maybe you can see it in the picture. Basically, the threshold is split, partially terminating in the doorway with wood flooring and partially with tile (that surrounds the wood stove). So, I put together a plan, and it worked.

First, I found a piece of 3-in-1 molding at Lowes. This is meant for creating transitions from wood floor to tile or carpet and, depending on what pieces you use, can be a t-molding, a reducer or end-molding. This stuff is actually meant for 1/8″-1/3″ laminate flooring, so I had to lift it off the underlayment a bit with a thin 1/4″ thick strip of wood. The rail (into which the molding snaps) is screwed through this piece of wood and into the floor.
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How to bust the rear window out of your new truck

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on July 4, 2007
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In case you were wondering and needed guidance in this endeavor, it’s really not as complicated as it sounds. Just heave a log at it. It will shatter quite nicely.

Today I woke up early and full of energy. I decided it was time I moved the remnants of the cut-down trees to their final resting places. The brush and uncut logs would go to a wood-pile near the newly cleared camp/bonfire site. The cut logs will be piled nearby and stored for winter, or used for camping trips.

However, given my super-human strength and mental intensity, I should have been more careful. While throwing logs into the back of the truck, I managed to smash the rear window. While traumatic, it was somewhat cool. I mean… once I made the initial ‘break’, I stood there for at least five minutes watching and listening to the rest of the window slowly crackle and shatter. Here’s a look from the inside.

This is going to be expensive.

Oh, and it gets better. Right now it’s intact (ie, staying in place). But each time I close the door, the air pressure inside pushes the window out just a bit more. I predict only a few more door-closings before the whole thing just falls out. I guess I’m not driving it again until I can get it fixed.

Not so bad

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on July 3, 2007
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I’m sitting here looking at my smoking log and notes from today trying to analyze things and see if there’s a better way to attack this. As of 8pm (my last) I’ve had 7 cigarettes today. I had my first one this morning out of habit. I think I could have done without it. The ‘not smoking in the car’ rule was a bit painful, but I survived. At 11a, I decided I needed a fix. But while outside, another guy came out and we started talking. So, though I didn’t even really want it, I had 2.

Rather than smoke my lunch, I left around 12:30p to hit Subway. I smoked at 1:45p, just before a 2p meeting. Around 3:15p, after the meeting, I was mentally exhausted, so I had another. This time, though, a different guy came out and we talked work the whole time. I kept wanting to just put out my cig and go back inside. I guess I don’t enjoy the smoking when I have to talk work at the same time.

I got home and put things away, changed clothes and had a smoke at 6p. Then I worked out for an hour, took an hour-long walk and had another around 8:15p.

What I notice is that I’m still spreading my cigs pretty evenly throughout the day, keeping a steady flow of nicotine in my system. That doesn’t seem very productive. I think instead I need to now focus on not smoking during certain parts of the day and practice dealing with the lack of nicotine. So, tomorrow I think I’m going to try not smoking until noon, then still keep it light the rest of the day.

Update: Ugh. It just hit me that tomorrow is July 4th, which means I will be home all day by myself. I can already tell I’m going to have to keep myself busy to keep to the goals.

And it’s only going to get harder

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on July 2, 2007
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Today, since I was much more conscious of my smoking, I couldn’t help but cut back a little. As of 7:30p I’ve had 16 cigarettes. I expect to have 2 more before going to bed tonight.

I’m not going to upload the spreadsheet I made, but my smoking is spread pretty evenly throughout the day, as one might expect. Also, I found that I most feel the urge to smoke when I’m bored or after a few hours of working on something and I lose my ability to concentrate and focus.

So, the new rule tomorrow is no smoking in the car/truck. That’s going to eliminate 4-5 cigs a day right there. In addition, I’ve made a ’smoking schedule’. Now I have ‘appointments’ to smoke and how many. By Thursday, I’ll be down to just 6, and I’ll maintain that same schedule through Saturday.

I don’t think the cutting back is going to make the addiction and cravings any better, but the idea is to form new habits while in the car or after I lose my focus, without completely going into the ‘nic-fit’.

The Quit Date

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on July 1, 2007
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My quit date is Saturday, July 14.

After being on this workout kick for a few months, I’m really feeling it. I mean, I feel a helluva lot better than I have in a long time. I’m actually hungry more than once a day and am eating better, my brain doesn’t ‘fade out’ due to the blood-sugar variance I used to experience and besides that, I’m liking the way I look.

For the last five days, I’ve been mostly traveling and haven’t been home much. I think I over-extended myself before because I had some soreness and really did need a little break. But when I got home this afternoon, I felt guilty and actually missed the feeling of the workout. So, after unpacking, that was the first thing I did. And I’m psyched again.

This weekend was unique in that, for my own reasons, I didn’t want to smoke. From about 7p Friday until around 12:30p today (Sunday) I had two cigarettes. Both of those were one-after-the-other Saturday night because I was seriously wigging out and needed the fix. I was in a situation where I had to choose between two evils: was it worse to wig out or to go ahead and smoke and then be calm and human the rest of the evening. I opted for the latter.

On the drive home, I thought a lot about it. This was the first time in a long time that I had tried to go so long without smoking. I didn’t realize just how much of a strangle-hold this habit has over me and how much ‘going without’ affects me. People keep telling me about all the health issues, etc, and why THEY think I should quit. Well, today, I made a short list of my own. (That list follows at the end of this entry.)

So, I put together a plan so that by Saturday, July 14, I will have stopped completely.

Continue reading ‘The Quit Date’